Burr.. just woke up hee.
Anyway.. vaguely remember having a dream.. somehow seated in a circle. ^Be was beside me.. n Vance in a very retro hairstyle somewhere across me haa.. those 50's 60's kinda hairstyle.. jsut can't rememebr wat the hell we doing. .. hee. Anyway could be cos I noe he's there at Zouk the other day having seen Kenneth. But haiya. din bum into him ho.. bum into ^Be though.
I love spending time with ^Be.. in fact.. was never really used to hanging out with a person often plus alone... I mean all the time la. When I'm with Vance.. erm usually we dun go out alone.. stay home yes of cos.. cosy times in front of tv.. but goign out.. usually will get frens to join us?.. shir n issac or kenneth gang.. etc.. come to think abt it, we watch very few movies haa. Thot that is the most common thing couples do hee.. n definitely not clubbing alone.. cos think he will find that weird?.. But back then I only club with him.. now with ^Be n occasionally pple fr sch. oh n a few times with ^Teddy.
but ^Be dun mind clubbing just with me.. think first time for both of us.. erm but din turn out to be just us la.. haa. frens came too.. so strictly speaking I haven club with just one person yet..
KenS love spending time with his gal.. just the two fo them more than with frens.. n they do that often:) he's jsut damn sweet haa.. Dawn will agree to that.
Been spending much time with just ^Be to start thinking that.. eh.. actually its real nice too haa... not the cosy cosy at home cos we dun really have the chance but enjoying each other's company outside. ;p

But last nite all her messages pricked.. like needles.. hai. I noe that may happen yet I want to noe.. wanna read.. Sometimes I really dun mind self-destructing..
Realised yet another thing.. that when I'm upset I am capable of doing things that may cause personal damage or hurt others.. its like the anguish that I felt will lash out.. cut myself more or those in the way.. to feel more pain in order to overwhelm the pang of sorrow.. Eee sounds real bad.. its nasty I guess.. I'm nasty.
Control control.. I'm always lacking the control I need.. damn.. dun want to regret much after that.

::Running away from delusions::