I am locked out.. ya of my B521 room.. forgot to get my card key out.. n haf to wait for hqall admin to open b4 i can get access to my room.. damn.. I'm wo contacts n bra!~ Reminded last min that I'm ic for war games later... phew.. which means I wun get to be too dirty ya? haa.. this camp have been rather eventless I thought.. or rather not as exciting programmes... yet, it has been fun in a way... cos of the councillors who participated n cos of all the gimmicks happening ard haa.. many familiar faces.
More cover looks fr the councillors than freshies though.. tsk... disappointing haa.. for the pageant la. haa..
So since I'm so free... decided to check on some stuff online with Eve's notebk.

Get to realise something... humans are selfish. Tried not to be.. but its not easy. I'm not sure if thats the right think to do in terms of emotions.. but when in doubts.. maybe stick to morals? Give the whole situation an unbiased analysis? To cut oneself off from feeling.. to be uninvolved.. to just be damn rational.. no influences fr heartohheart.. Heck what senses may throw at u afterwards. Be it minutes after the decision.. the day after the decision.. after the camp.. just got to deal with it as it comes?.. *dry lauff*
Guess its better to be in control when it comes then to b completely helpless... at least prepare myself for it? Can't seems to think now.. numbing.dazed**

"if u haven't change when u love a person, u have never love that person before..." just read this fr a fren's blog.. erm true true.. u do make sacrifices n change when U love someone.. however.. I have this fear for changing a person i love.. for fear that stress n unhappiness come along with the changes.. fear that these negatives are gonna affect the relationship.. even if they have been done willingly..even if they are vices that u r trying to change. The Risk of changes.
Will there eva be a day that I can find someone just perfect for me?.. molded flawlessly to suit so that no changes r required.. n both will be happy? If there eva is..we would have all waited for him/her.

I simply hope to have someone who you know that even when the world collapses, he will still be with you:: someone that I can trust, have faith in:: someone who will love me and only loves me...
If that is not gonna be possible... maybe I will be better off alone.
::Running away from delusions::