::Something I found among the flood of mails..::

> > > CHILD: Dad, where did I come from?
> > > DAD: Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!
> > > Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting
> > > with your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Caf¨¦.
> > > Then, mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when
> > > dad was ready to upload to mom's hard disk, we discovered that
> > > there was no firewall. Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel,
> > > I just carried on doing the upload. Nine months later, the damn
> > > virus then made a copy of files from both mom & dad's data and
> > > expelled it in an email attachment using mom's address!

Talking to Bebe now.. not very gd at multi-tasking afterall...

> > Management Case Study No.1

> > The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the Doctor told
him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax.
The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so
he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean
the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the
city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week
to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finished the job in less
than one day.

> > The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut
the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be
able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

> > The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer
asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with
small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the
farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but
the two boxes were empty.

> > The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you did such difficult jobs
during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?" The manager
answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit,
but now you ask me to make decisions!"

> > Management Case Study No.2

> > A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three
identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs
500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop
owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".

> > The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs
1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it
knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

> > Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to be
told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question,
"What can it do?"

> > To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a
thing, but the other two call him boss!"

**

----------------------------------------------------------------
A Chinese



A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people
bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who
bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship,
not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same
**

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to
the other one. "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid. If you don't
believe me I'll show you." He called his driver Ah Beng over and said,
"Ah Beng, here is a $10 note, go to the car showroom and buy me a
Mercedes". To which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and
rushed off to the Showroom. The rich man then turned to his friend and
said, "See, I told you he was stupid."

The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I
will
show you stupid." And he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and
check to see if I'm at home." To which Ali said, "Yes Sir! Right
away,Sir!" and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have
enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh,
you
know my boss is sooooooo stupid. He gave me $10 and asked me to go to
the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today
is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"

Ali replied, "You think your boss is stupid? My boss lagi worse, he
asked me to go home to check if he is at home... He got handphone
what,he can just call up to check lah, bodoh!!!"

*****************************************************
CAR

Beng and Seng excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to
remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Beng
asked, 'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.' 'No, that won't
work' answered Seng. 'People will think we're trying to break in.'

Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the
rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?' 'No,' said Seng.
'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coat hanger.'

The kan cheong Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast. It's
starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'

******************************************************
PIZZA

Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if she should cut it in
six or twelve pieces. Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.

******************************************************
DEAD BIRD

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?"

******************************************************



::Running away from delusions::